Author: Bartholemew Cobb
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Demons in the air -or- Why movies suck and wokism is everywhere
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Read more: Demons in the air -or- Why movies suck and wokism is everywhereDemons in the Air: Why Movies Suck, Wokism is Everywhere, Your Company is Sponsoring a Gay Pride Parade Even Though It Makes Swizzle Sticks and (finally!) Who’s Responsible? [Imagine flying through clouds in clear black and white while a comforting southern voice narrates] There is a demon that lives in the air. This demon calls…
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How to Create a Film Fan in Five Easy Flicks
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Read more: How to Create a Film Fan in Five Easy FlicksMy cousin doesn’t understand my work, movies bore him, he says, but I don’t blame him, since in his mid-twenties and according to him has never seen a black and white movie all the way through his cinema appreciation is in the dumps. Double that the only movies he’s actually seen have been post 2000s,…
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The Insult of Cocaine Bear is Greater Than its Mere Crapitude
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Read more: The Insult of Cocaine Bear is Greater Than its Mere CrapitudeI.. Am. Dismayed. Dismayed and adrift. Dismayed, adrift, unseen and ignored. What brought me to this lowly state? Why, I’ll tell you. ON NO LESS THAN NINE OCCASIONS has Hollywood passed on my Kiplingesque treatment of nature by making Cocaine Bear…an insult I have not seen and will not see, but the pain, the sting,…
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The Shining
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Read more: The ShiningA hotel, bathed in blood, wrapped in a puzzle and stuffed up the keister of an enigma, The Shining relays the less-than-straightforward tale of a psychic boy helplessly trapped in a quagmire of perverted demons and murdered guests all wanting a fresh bite of whomever took the job of winter caretaker. That would be Jack…
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The Day Of The Jackal (1973)
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Read more: The Day Of The Jackal (1973)“August 1962 was a stormy time for France. Many people felt that President Charles de Gaulle had betrayed France by giving independence to Algeria. Extremists, mostly from the army, swore to kill him in revenge. They banded together in an underground movement and called themselves the OAS.” This was the beginning narration of what would…
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An Angry Rant About Something
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Read more: An Angry Rant About Something“The modern audience” They did it again, they ruined something I loved, and the poor executives had no choice but to do it, such is their power, such is their reach. [scratchy audio] Mr. Cobb: Is that them…them, coming out of Applebee’s, it looks like them[inaudible] What do you mean “how are they supposed to…
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Violent Thoughts About A Film-maker
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Read more: Violent Thoughts About A Film-makerViolent thoughts about a filmmaker are rare, and should be, unless that filmmaker is Rian Johnson. Why? What thoughts should you have if the dilettante manor-borne son of the elite without a tenth of the talent required to actually claim a chair amongst that elite were to take power and, say, set torch to everything…
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Memorable Movie Scenes: Part 34
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Read more: Memorable Movie Scenes: Part 34Movie: Amadeus Synopsis: Mozart dies an orchestrated death while orchestrating a death mass for his dead father assisted by a man who brought death on his own dad and now wants Mozart dead because God orchestrated Mozart’s music to mock him and now he makes like Mozart’s dead dad to make Mozart make a death…
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Batman Returns Again
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Read more: Batman Returns AgainSome people think Die Hard is a Christmas movie and I’m not here to contradict them though it’s in my every bone to do so, it’s Christmas, we should get along, somebody somewhere invented the idea that it was rude to ask these people exactly what the analytical criteria for a Christmas movie might be,…
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Memorable Movie Scenes: Part 22
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Read more: Memorable Movie Scenes: Part 22Movie: Citizen Kane: The More You Tally the Smaller the Sum…-or -You Can Never Go Home Again, Even If You’re Stinkin’ Rich The addition of Potassium to the periodic table would spark a paranoid political firestorm unseen since Ytterbium led to the 1914 invasion of Haiti. Orson Wells made a habit of thinking way above…