DUHHHHN-DUH DUHHHHN-DUH DUHN-DUH-DUHN-DUH-DUHN-DUH deeleee-dee! DUHN-DUH-DUHN DUH-DUHN Yes, I have it on good authority that’s how the famous danger theme of Jaws was written, by the same man who wrote the Star Wars score, John Williams…here’s a sample from his notebook entitled “Imperial March”: “BWAHM-BWAHM-BWAHM-teedee-BWAHM-teedee BWAHM (higher) BWAHM-BWAHM-BWAHM-diddliy-BWAHM-teedee-BWAHM (maybe a little ‘toodley-deedly’ here–ask George–too many BWAHMs?)” […]
Jaws
June 3, 2022 by
Film Title
JawsSynopsis
The movie that started the final realization that the ocean is no man’s land
Director
Steven SpielbergCast
Robert Shaw
Roy Scheiner
Richard Dreyfuss
Murray Hamilton
Lorraine Gary
The Shawshank Redemption
May 13, 2022 by
Film Title
The Shawshank RedemptionSynopsis
The Magical Negro falls in love with The Big Tall Guy
Director
Frank DarabontCast
Tim Robbins
Morgan Freeman
Bob Gunton
Clancey Brown
James Whitmore
William Satler
I despise Stephen King, his novella of Rita Hayworth, and The Shawshank Redemption. It was anun-readable blot of blueberry mustard smeared on a Maine tourist map from 1973. Why ’73? Well, that’s the last year of Maine’s state pride as it is the last year it WOULD NOT be associated with this human cowlick with […]
I Went With What the French Call: les apeshit
May 8, 2022 by
Excuse me, you say, Oh sagacious and inerrant Mr. Cobb–however do they market our movies overseas? One word: Badly. –So it’s just a direct translation, then? Two words: You wish. Or, as they would translate that sentiment in Malaysia: Of Terrible Consequence to Original Things Super-Duper High-Five. “They called this movie ‘Little Jew I Want […]
Brazil (1985)
May 5, 2022 by
Film Title
BrazilSynopsis
One of the strangest movies ever made.
Director
Terry GilliamCast
Jonathan Pryce
Kim Greist
Robert De Niro
Ian Holm
Michael Palin
Katherine Helmond
Bob Hoskins
80% of people claim to have read 1984 while only 16% have actually done so, and 78% of people who’ve seen Brazil claim to have understood its parody of 1984. While we have no data on how many are telling the truth, it’s safe to surmise that 14% made the connection. Like 1984 the world […]
A Cinephile Has Bizarre Wishes
May 3, 2022 by
One-He wants ALL the film merch of Pee Wee’s Big Adventure that they only released in Japan and Burma and include characters that weren’t in the movie like ‘Mecha-Francis’;, Two-He wants the power to mix and match the lesser-known, overlooked film actors he feels haven’t been bathed in divine glory as he believes, in his […]
An Alternative Movie Theory
May 2, 2022 by
The greatest alternative movie theory of all time is MY OWN. You’ve seen this film I trust. If you haven’t there are major spoilers beyond: DO NOT ENTER. Now then, I want you to take a long look at that poster because the art was not formulated by accident. Cormac McCarthy, who wrote the novel, […]
The Wizard Of Ahs -or- Please Stay On That Goldbrick Road, Dorothy
April 27, 2022 by
Follow the yellow brick road to the Emerald City where the Wizard of Humongous Metaphors will grant the key to this classic. “Oh Toto, Why couldn’t we have been swept up in an allegory for the Spanish-American War or Swine Flu or something?” That’s right. Didn’t know you were watching a 19th century economic sermon […]
