Terminator: Dark Fate

Film Title

Terminator: Dark Fate

Synopsis

Same story. Different machine.

Director

Tim Miller

Cast

Linda Hamilton
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Mackenzie Davis
Gabriel Luna
Natalia Reyes

Have you seen this bo- …er, girl? Every franchise hits that point where it either has to start over, switch to prequels, or ignore much of what came before it in order to keep audiences coming back for more. The Alien franchise did it with Prometheus, choosing to go the prequel route. The Predator franchise […]

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil

Film Title

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil

Synopsis

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Still with the same old formula.

Director

Joachim Ronning

Cast

Angelina Jolie
Elle Fanning
Michelle Pfeiffer
Harris Dickinson
Sam Riley
Chiwetel Ejiofor
Robert Lindsay

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. I am almost certain I have used that tagline on previous reviews, but can you blame me for repeating myself? The Princess Bride is a brilliant film with eminently quotable lines and that line in particular is just too […]

The Addams Family (2019)

Film Title

The Addams Family (2019)

Synopsis

The Addams Family, probably the way it was always meant to be seen.

Director

Greg Tiernan, Conrad Vernon

Cast

Charlize Theron
Oscar Isaac
Chloe Grace Moretz
Finn Wolfhard
Allison Janney
Nick Kroll
Bette Midler
Elsie Fisher

Neat. Petite. As usual, my son is providing the meat of the review of new, animated, The Addams Family movie. But this one has a slight twist – his grandma and grandpa are asking the questions. Buckle up folks. Also, he gives lots of SPOILERS, but I doubt any kids are reading this. Have you […]

Gemini Man

Film Title

Gemini Man

Synopsis

Are we really talking about cloning again?

Director

Ang Lee

Cast

Will Smith
Mary Elizabeth Winstead
Clive Owen
Benedict Wong
Linda Emond

Dude, you got a computer on your face. Now, this is a story all about howMy life got flipped-turned upside downAnd I’d like to take a minuteJust sit right thereI’ll tell you how I became the target of a group of elite killers, including a clone of me thirty years my junior In west Philadelphia […]

Joker

Film Title

Joker

Synopsis

The man. The myth. The legend.

Director

Todd Phillips

Cast

Joaquin Phoenix
Zazie Beetz
Robert De Niro
Frances Conroy

Why so serious? Apparently, there is some controversy surrounding the new film Joker. I had no idea this was happening until I started poking around the Internet for early reviews and first impressions of the movie. Instead, I found several stories about its divisiveness, how people are upset about its depiction of violence, and Keanu […]

Abominable

Film Title

Abominable

Synopsis

Big snowball in little China.

Director

Jill Culton, Todd Wilderman

Cast

Chloe Bennet
Sarah Paulson
Eddie Izzard
Albert Tsai
Tenzing Norgay Trainor
Joseph Izzo
Tsai Chin
Michelle Wong

A snowball’s chance. Abominable left so little impression on me that I forgot I saw it for three days. That is when my son asked me when we were going to do his interview for the movie. Once we starting talking about it, the film came back to me, but it was rough for the […]

Ad Astra

Film Title

Ad Astra

Synopsis

A very long-distance phone call.

Director

James Gray

Cast

Brad Pitt
Tommy Lee Jones
Donald Sutherland
Liv Tyler

Latin for “Dad is a dick.” Every year, I have the same three movie wishes. One, that there is one really good movie that comes out of nowhere. Two, that there is one good science fiction film. Not fluffy sci-fi like Star Wars (though I do want more Star Wars), but good sci-fi like Moon […]

Don’t Let Go

Film Title

Don't Let Go

Synopsis

A murder mystery with the best cell phone coverage ever.

Director

Jacob Estes

Cast

David Oyelowo
Storm Reid
Mykelti Williamson
Alfred Molina
Brian Tyree Henry
Shinelle Azoroh

Or, you DIE, DIe, Die, die… I went into Don’t Let Go knowing nothing more than the title, a very brief plot summary on IMDb – “After a man’s family dies in what appears to be a murder, he gets a phone call from one of the dead, his niece. He’s not sure if she’s […]

The Angry Birds Movie 2

Film Title

The Angry Birds Movie 2

Synopsis

Bird crap.

Director

Thurop van Orman

Cast

Jason Sudeikis
Josh Gad
Danny McBride
Rachel Bloom
Leslie Jones
Bill Hader
Tiffany Haddish
Peter Dinklage

You recognize this film by the way it hits your windshield. A hallmark of a good PG movie is an ability to appeal to both kids and adults. Smart writing and mature jokes for the adults; smart writing, bright colors, and silliness for the kids. Pixar has mastered the art of blending all of those […]

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

Film Title

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

Synopsis

Kids read from book and Guillermo del Toro punishes them.

Director

Andre Ovredal

Cast

Zoe Margaret Colletti
Michael Garza
Gabriel Rush
Austin Zajur
Austin Abrams
Natalie Ganzhorn
Dean Norris
Kathleen Pollard

A creepy throwback. I wonder what kind of childhood Guillermo del Toro had? The creatures that he comes up with for his movies and television shows suggest his childhood was…not good? Haunted? Disturbed? When I found out he was involved with the making of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, I immediately nixed the […]