“Deep Water” – That’s definitely not a candy bar floating in the pool. One of the first things they teach students in screenwriting class is to write a sympathetic protagonist so the audience has someone to root for. Apparently, the writers of Deep Water – Zach Helm and Sam Levinson – missed that week of […]

“Turning Red” – Crimson Tide (or a visit from Aunt Flo). Turning Red is a movie I’m really torn about. You can be forgiven for not knowing what this movie is actually about if you have only seen the preview. Let me help. It’s about puberty. Specifically, a girl’s first period. What I’m torn about […]

“The Batman” – I only work in black. Or really, really dark grey. Batman has had quite the adventure throughout his Hollywood career. Starting way back in 1966 with two dudes wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants, there have been ten live-action films. After that ridiculous (even at the time) depiction, 1989’s […]

“Studio 666” – What are you doing, Dave? If I were a Foo Fighters fan, I might have been genuinely excited about seeing Studio 666. I couldn’t pick a Foo Fighters song out of lineup, but I’m sure I’ve heard some of their late ’90s/early 2000s stuff. I might even have liked a song or […]

“Uncharted” – Inter-National Treasure. Given the number of video games released every year, it’s surprising to see how few of them are adapted into movies. Ever since Super Mario Bros. debuted as the first video game adaptation / cow pie in 1993, it makes sense that studios would be hesitant to make more movies from […]

“Moonfall” – What if…? In this current age, where conspiracy theorists are given microphones, money, and even elected President, it’s not surprising that we’re seeing them appear as characters in movies and their bullshit confirmed as part of a movie’s plot. In an interview with Collider for his latest film Moonfall, Roland Emmerich is asked […]

I know what you’re thinking- isn’t this Scream 5? I’m obligated to tell you that the official title of this movie is Scream. Yes, it is confusing. Yes, it is indeed the fifth movie in the Scream franchise and, yes, the other sequels did indeed have numbers in their titles. I actually thought this new […]

Well, we made it through another year. I think. It’s hard to tell. 2021 sure felt a lot like 2020. Maybe not quite the rotten asshole of a year that was 2020, but a lot of people sure tried hard to make it as bad. The Covid pandemic has now entered the fourth major infection […]