“Shotgun Wedding” – Just shoot me. Yes, I voluntarily attended a screening of a movie called Shotgun Wedding. Yes, I willingly devoted two hours of my life to a film starring Jennifer Lopez and that guy that plays that one soldier in the Transformers movies (Josh Duhamel). Yes, I knowingly watched a movie that Lionsgate […]
Film TitleShotgun Wedding
Just a stupid, everything can go wrong wedding movie
A pilot is forced to land a storm-damaged commercial plane in a war zone.
“Plane” – A better movie than January deserves. After the disappointing but perfect-for-January M3GAN, I fully expected Plane to be perfectly January as well. Plane stars Gerard Butler. We don’t need any other information than that to set our expectations. Butler’s filmography contains thirty-eight films (not including Plane or animated films) and just eight of […]
So, you think you can dance?
Jen Van Epps
Brian Jordan Alvarez
“M3GAN” – So you think you can dance! As with Violent Night, I went into M3GAN expecting exactly what the movie ended up delivering – a doll committing murders. The difference between Violent Night and M3GAN is that Violent Night leaned all the way into its absurdity and premise, while M3GAN kept having second thoughts […]
My Year In Movies: 2022 Edition
“My Year in Movies – 2022 Edition” – Was I talking about gas? It’s been a couple years, but we’re finally back to the film world resembling something like pre-Covid times. This is good news, because the world outside of film continues to resemble a horror show. As I said back at the end of […]
White Noise (2022)
Film TitleWhite Noise
Won’t anyone pay attention to what’s really happening?
It’s award consideration season, so here’s my consideration. Synopsis Won’t anyone pay attention to what’s really happening? Writing I don’t know what’s really happening. The film has a very distinct three act structure that would have been better suited as vignettes. The first act introduces Professor Jack Gladney (Adam Driver), an expert in Adolf Hitler […]
A Christmas Carol, shaken not stirred, with a twist
It’s award consideration season, so here’s my consideration. Synopsis A Christmas Carol, shaken not stirred, with a twist. Writing Like Pinocchio, A Christmas Carol has been done so many times that finding a fresh take on the story is a nearly impossible task. Writers Sean Anders (also directing) and John Morris manage to wring a […]
Film TitleThe Whale
We are all chasing something
Going into Darren Aronofsky’s latest film The Whale, I prepared myself for at least one disturbing scene that would sear itself into my brain next to scenes from Requiem for a Dream and Black Swan. Like Stanley Kubrick, Aronofsky tends to make weird and dark movies, some of which feature scenes you cannot unsee. To […]
We’re going to need two cigarettes after this romp
It’s a rare occurrence when a movie or series shows something that stops every random thought in my head, every synapse focusing like a laser on the screen. I become Neo in The Matrix when Morpheus leaps to a distant building. “Whoa” is the only correct response. It happened the first time I saw the […]
Film TitleThirteen Lives
A rescue mission is assembled to save a soccer team trapped in a cave.
It’s award consideration season, so here’s my consideration. Synopsis A cave rescue mission. Writing On June 23, 2018, twelve boys and their coach were trapped in a flooded cave system in northern Thailand. Given the recency of the event, extensive coverage at the time, and the known outcome, the movie practically writes itself. The only […]
Crimes Of The Future
Film TitleCrimes of the Future
Humans are evolving and David Cronenberg makes it gross
It’s award consideration season, so here’s my consideration. Writing There are interesting concepts, but they never fall into a cohesive narrative. In this future, most humans have evolved to no longer feel pain or become infected by disease and many are growing new organs with undetermined functions, only to have them removed to comply with […]