A trophy for trying. I’m not sure there was any movie in 2017 for which I had lower expectations than Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. Well, maybe Justice League. And Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. And Transformers: The Last Knight. And Kong: Skull Island. Ok, so there were many movies to be […]
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Film Title
Jumanji: Welcome to the JungleSynopsis
A video game movie that somehow manages to be watchable.
Director
Jake KasdanCast
Dwayne Johnson
Kevin Hart
Karen Gillan
Jack Black
Nick Jonas
Bobby Cannavale
Darkest Hour

Film Title
Darkest HourDirector
Joe WrightCast
Gary Oldman
Lily James
Ben Mendelsohn
Kristin Scott Thomas
Stephen Dillane
Ronald Pickup
Churchill would like his soul back. (It’s award consideration season and I’m playing catch-up. As I tear through them, I thought I’d try mini-reviews. Enjoy!) Darkest Hour is best described as the deleted scenes from Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk. It’s the Deep Impact to Armageddon, but not moronic. Darkest Hour takes place during the couple of […]
The Man Who Invented Christmas

Film Title
The Man Who Invented ChristmasDirector
Bharat NalluriCast
Dan Stevens
Christopher Plummer
Johathan Pryce
Morfydd Clark
Justin Edwards
Annette Badland
Simon Callow
Valeria Bandino
A tale of two stories. (It’s award consideration season and I’m playing catch-up. As I tear through them, I thought I’d try mini-reviews. Enjoy!) When I was in high school, I was forced to read Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities and Great Expectations, only one of which I was able to finish (the […]
Lady Bird

Film Title
Lady BirdSynopsis
A look at the final year of high school for Lady Bird and a million other girls.
Director
Greta GerwigCast
Saoirse Ronan
Odeya Rush
Laurie Metcalf
Timothee Chalamet
Lucas Hedges
Beanie Feldstein
Tracy Letts
Let it go. (It’s award consideration season and I’m playing catch-up. As I tear through them, I thought I’d try mini-reviews. Enjoy!) For about eight minutes, some hay was made about Lady Bird breaking a record for the most positive consecutive reviews without a negative review on Rotten Tomatoes. Then, a single film critic gave […]
I, Tonya

Film Title
I, TonyaSynopsis
The story of Tonya Harding and why she might not be the worst person of 1994.
Director
Craig GillespieCast
Margot Robbie
Sebastian Stan
Allison Janney
Julianne Nicholson
Bobby Cannavale
McKenna Grace
A little bit. (It’s award consideration season and I’m playing catch-up. As I tear through them, I thought I’d try mini-reviews. Enjoy!) In 1994, Tonya Harding was the most hated person in America (well, at least until O.J. Simpson went for a drive in his white Bronco). In 2017, anyone who watches I, Tonya is […]
The Disaster Artist

Film Title
The Disaster ArtistSynopsis
A brilliant telling of the making of an un-brilliant film.
Director
James FrancoCast
James Franco
Dave Franco
Alison Brie
Seth Rogen
Ari Graynor
Jacki Weaver
Paul Scheer
Josh Hutcherson
Art has nothing to do with it. (It’s award consideration season and I’m playing catch-up. As I tear through them, I thought I’d try mini-reviews. Enjoy!) On my Movie Fixers podcast, we covered a movie called The Room from 2003. It is easily one of the worst movies ever put to film (think bad Lifetime […]
Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri

Film Title
Three Billboards outside Ebbing, MissouriSynopsis
It’s not just about the billboards.
Director
Martin McDonaghCast
Frances McDormand
Woody Harrelson
Caleb Landry Jones
Sam Rockwell
Lucas Hedges
Peter Dinklage
John Hawkes
Samara Weaving
Sandy Martin
Whose side are you on? (It’s award consideration season and I’m playing catch-up. As I tear through them, I thought I’d try mini-reviews. Enjoy!) About seventeen minutes into Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri, [Goat’s Review] Sheriff Willoughby (Woody Harrelson) has the following exchange with distraught mother Mildred Hayes (Frances McDormand) whose daughter was raped and […]
Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Film Title
Star Wars: The Last JediSynopsis
Star Wars
Director
Rian JohnsonCast
Daisy Ridley
Mark Hamill
Adam Driver
Domhnall Gleeson
Carrie Fisher
Andy Serkis
Oscar Isaac
John Boyega
Kelly Marie Tran
Laura Dern
Benicio de Toro
Gwendoline Christie
I’m not sure either side should win. As much as I look forward to many movies every year, none of them do I anticipate as much as Star Wars. Since writing movie reviews does not pay the bills (or anything but movie admissions, for that matter) and advanced screenings of Star Wars flicks are always […]
The Shape of Water

Film Title
The Shape of WaterDirector
Guillermo del ToroCast
Sally Hawkins
Michael Shannon
Octavia Spencer
Richard Jenkins
Doug Jones
Michael Stuhlbarg
There is a hole in your shape. (It’s award consideration season and I’m playing catch-up. As I tear through them, I thought I’d try mini-reviews. Enjoy!) The Shape of Water is another attempt by Guillermo del Toro to convince us he is anything more than weird creatures. To be fair, Pacific Rim was absurdly entertaining […]
It Comes at Night

Film Title
It Comes at NightSynopsis
A family cowers in their house in the forest from something that never comes.
Director
Trey Edward ShultsCast
Joel Edgerton
Christopher Abbott
Carmen Ejogo
Riley Keough
Kelvin Harrison Jr.
It didn’t in this movie. (It’s award consideration season and I’m playing catch-up. As I tear through them, I thought I’d try mini-reviews. Enjoy!) Nothing ruins a movie quite like failing to follow through on a promise. It Comes at Night is a title that promises us something coming at night. For an hour and […]