Comfortable and Furious

Brightburn (2019)

I have been reading with utter disbelief some of the glowing reviews by IMDB users for the movie Brightburn. This sci-fi, Superman, horror, Omen tear-off is one of the lamest, most pointless attempts at a horror (or whatever it thought it was) film that I have ever watched. The review will most likely be mercifully short. This movie was a gory twist on the beloved Clark Kent Superboy story.

Image result for brightburn movie images

Tori (Elizabeth Banks) and Kyle (David Denman) Breyer were a couple who had unfortunately failed to conceive a child. With what I saw from their cluelessness and bad choices made throughout the movie, I’m just guessing they were doing it wrong, but that is not important now. What was important is that a small alien spaceship ended its journey (from who knows where) in their backyard. It contained an infant boy, an answer to their prayers! Of course, they told everyone that they adopted this little bundle of joy, who would turn out to be anything but.

As Brandon (Jackson A. Dunn) reached puberty, he started hearing voices in his head and become detached and violent. To the movie’s credit, Dunn did a great job of portraying the creepy and ice-cold Superboy gone bad. He showed no remorse, no conscience, and no emotion at all. His hatred of everyone around him was pretty inspiring, but then again, I like to watch videos of baby chicks being ground into fertilizer. Dunn’s acting was just about the only credit that this train wreck of a film deserved. There were a couple of scenes that were deliciously gory, but for the most part this thing was a yawner, broken up by too many predictable jump-scares.

Does he look scary to you? Me, neither

Other than the acting of Jackson A. Dunn, and a couple of tense moments towards the end, this movie didn’t have much going for it except for its merciful short run time of 1 hour and 31 minutes. Remember the name David Yarovesky (the Director), because you sure won’t be hearing it at Oscar time. Here is an example of some of the cringe-worthy dialogue:

Brandon Breyer: Mom, who am I?

Tori Breyer: You are a *gift*. I know it’s been difficult for you lately, that you feel different from other kids. You *are* different. After your dad and I got married, we prayed for a baby for so long. One night, someone listened.

Not to spoil anything, but I didn’t exactly mourn when Super Brat dispatched his own parents. They were dumb and clueless, even by horror movie standards. The concept of a Ma & Pa Kent raising a HellSpawn (instead of the Boy of Steel and protector of the innocent), was a good one, but failed in this movie. It was predictable, lame, and the ending was almost laughable, hinting of a sequel. God, please, just no.

How about now?

I am still perplexed by all of the positive reviews, but the movie will hit the box-office in earnest this Thursday, so we will have a much larger sample of reviews next week. I didn’t hate it as much as Man Of Steel, but it was close.

3.5/10.0 with the Goatesian Suggestion of AVOID.



, , ,