Elves (2018)

Film Title

Elves

Synopsis

Ancient Elves locked in a chest only come out at Christmas.

Director

Jamaal Burden

Cast

Who Cares?

I’ve come to an unassailable generalization. Every Christmas movie with “Elf or Elves” in the title is going to be horrible and without redemption, campy or otherwise. The opening “teaser” (more like snoozer) scene lasted 6 minutes and consisted of two young boys sitting in a dark room with that awful piano, bang-bang one chord […]

Godmothered

Film Title

Godmothered

Synopsis

Will Farrell with a magic wand and a pink dress

Director

Sharon Maguire

Cast

Isla Fisher
Julian Bell
Mary Elizabeth Ellis
Stephnie Weir
Santiago Cabera

Oh no. Uh oh. I haven’t even asked a question yet. Was it a bad movie? Yes. Don’t watch it people. Don’t watch it. We didn’t even finish the movie. You didn’t even finish the movie? What was so bad about it? First thing is it didn’t have a villain. Second thing is it doesn’t […]

Soul (2020)

Film Title

Soul

Synopsis

An animated out of the body experience for a musician who has lost his way

Director

Pete Doctor, Kemp Powers

Cast

Jamie Foxx
Tina Fey
Rachel House
Alice Braga
Angela Bassett

When I play baseball, there are times when I am in such a great groove pitching that everything seems to slow down, background noise and visuals disappear, and playing the game becomes easy. In For Love of the Game, pitcher Billy Chapel (Kevin Costner) calls it clearing the mechanism. Others describe it as being “in […]

Christmas Story – a.k.a. (Joulutarina)(2007/Finnish)

Film Title

Christmas Story

Synopsis

A Finnish tale of how Santa Claus came into being

Director

Jahu Wuolijoki

Cast

Hannu-Pekka Bjorkman
Kari Vaananen
Otto Gustavsson
Minna Haapkyla
Mikko Kouki

This is not A Christmas Story, the greatest Christmas Movie ever make, but a charming, unique and very watchable Finnish version of how Santa Claus came into being. Like the Netflix classic Klaus, Christmas Story is not another cheesy and lame “save Christmas” film, but one that creates Christmas, with absolutely no mention of the […]

Fatman (2020)

Film Title

Fatman

Synopsis

A 12 year old punk hires a hit-man to snuff out Santa. Santa is no amused.

Director

Eshom & Iam Nelms

Cast

Mel Gibson
Walton Goggins
Marianne Jean-Baptiste
Chance Hurstfield
Robert Bockstael

The subversive Christmas movie is nothing new in cinema. Every year, profound wits declare that they and they alone have discovered the shocking truth that Die Hard is, in fact, a Christmas movie. Taking it a bit further, nearly every action movie written by the great Shane Black (Lethal Weapon, The Long Kiss Goodnight, etc) […]

We’re No Angels (1955)

Film Title

We're No Angels

Synopsis

Three escapees from Devil’s Island are master con men, and help out a kind merchant and his family.

Director

Michael Curtiz

Cast

Humphrey Bogart
Aldo Ray
Peter Ustinov
Joan Bennett
Basil Rathbone
Leo G. Carroll
Lea Penman

Here at Ruthless we love our readers, especially when they give us suggestions about great movies to review. We’re No Angels is a light-hearted and unusual Christmas type movie staring the iconic Humphrey Bogart. O.K., it wasn’t a great movie as such, but considering that the film is 65 years old, it holds up quite […]

Mixed Nuts (1994)

Film Title

Mixed Nuts

Synopsis

This movie should have been career suicide for all involved

Director

Nora Ephron

Cast

Steve Martin
Madeline Kahn
Robert Klein
Juliette Lewis
Steven Wright
Rob Reiner
Liev Schreiber
Rita Wilson
Garry Shandling
Haley Joel Osment

Here we have a Christmas Movie about a Suicide Hotline. Doesn’t this sound deliciously hilarious? Well, it’s not. What this movie is, is a big steaming pile of rancid Christmas pudding, mixed with arsenic sauce. It is not humor, it is not dark humor or satire, it is just 1 hr:33 minutes of stupidity, but […]

Verotika

Film Title

Verotika

Synopsis

A movie that apparently is as least as good as The Beast of Yucca Flats

Director

Glenn Danzig

Cast

Ashley Wisdom
Rachel Alig
Alice Tate
Scotch Hopkins
Kayden Kross
Sean Kanan
Natalia Borowosky

Damn this inconvenient global pandemic! A movie like Glenn Danzig’s absurdly amateurish, lurid, and pointless Verotika simply demands to be seen in a theater full of like-minded trash-lovers cackling and shouting at the ineptitude displayed onscreen. It is just not meant to be seen as your faithful servant, this reviewer, was forced to see it, […]

Loving the Bomb: Technology & Conquest in the Films of Stanley Kubrick

Stanley Kubrick (1928-1999) was undeniably one of the most brilliant and innovative motion picture directors of all time. His meticulously crafted works have influenced innumerable filmmakers all over the world, from Steven Spielberg to Gaspar Noe. Obviously, entire books have been written about Kubrick’s oeuvre, so let us focus here on the peak of his […]

The Christmas Chronicles 2

Film Title

The Christmas Chronicles 2

Synopsis

Yet again, Christmas must be saved from a bitter troublemaker

Director

Chris Columbus (I'm not kidding)

Cast

Kurt Russell
Goldie Hawn
Darby Camp
Julian Dennison

I got the notification yesterday that The Christmas Chronicles 2 was available for immediate streaming at Netflix. I didn’t know whether or not to rejoice or cringe. I don’t want to poison the well, but let’s face it. Christmas sequels have not historically been successful. Most, like Bad Santa 2 and the unwatchable A Christmas […]