HOSTAGE

We just get shortchanged by what could have been a really fine film.

I, ROBOT

There is a pretty decent film laying under all that green screen.

DIE HARD 2 – DIE HARDER

Smoker, McClane, runs 30 miles in two hours.

THE BEASTMASTER

Man in leather underwear controls the animals.

FRAILTY

How terrifying it must be to realize that the person who has abducted you is completely mad and honestly thinks that you are a demon.

IRREVERSIBLE

How much of the film is art and how much is some Euro realizing he can make a name for himself by throwing a couple of schlongs on the screen?

THE HILLS HAVE EYES (2006)

And what about the violence? Interestingly, it is both cathartic and orgasmic.

I HEART HUCKABEES

Futility and pain, then, rule the day.

DIE HARD

Scumbags, Cokeheads and Stupid Chiefs all suck, Ka-boom.

ASSASSINATION

Folks, I love Charles Bronson. His films are garbage, but he usually makes me smile with little effort.