COBRA

First of all, Sly Stallone spends the entire movie wearing the sort of sunglasses worn by Rob Halford in at least a half dozen Judas Priest videos. Add to that a group of terrorists who gather in a swimming pool…

FREEWAY II: CONFESSIONS OF A TRICKBABY

He could stop there, but then he throws in a child molesting, transvestite, cannibal nun.

THE HOURS

Rug-munchers of the world, unite!

IMPACT: THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST

One of the least competent documentaries ever made, Tim Chey’s Impact: The Passion of the Christ would be deeply troubling if it weren’t so damn pathetic.

DOUBLE TEAM

Here are simple facts. This film stars two men who are strapping athletes. It is marketed toward men. It is entitled,Double Team.

BLOODSPORT (1988)

Point is, I know porn when I hear it, and that was straight up fucking porn. NAMBLA porn.

FREDDY vs JASON

Itís really just a bloodier, pornographic version of pro wrestling, which is why I was eager to rent this DVD.

HOTEL RWANDA

By all means see it (and enjoy it), but shake your head when you realize how much better it could have been.

I’M NOT SCARED (Io non ho paura)

The film proceeds at a leisurely pace, but not one scene is wasted and each moment is fraught with danger, suspense, and beautiful imagery.

DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE

Think fast. Look alive. Die hard.