Author: The Crazy Dutchman
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Fantastic Planet (1973)
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Read more: Fantastic Planet (1973)“In the third millennium before Kraup, the Great Zarek created the first pyramic civilization. Legend says that from his tomb he still animates the ball of life, that his body, though constantly pierced by projectiles, does not change, and that his mind has regularly traversed the skies of Ygam ever since the Draags, under his…
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Zardoz (1974): A Love Letter from Holland
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Read more: Zardoz (1974): A Love Letter from HollandDon’t you just hate it when movies are all logical and comprehensible? That you’re watching something, and you go like: ‘yeah, that person just did or said something, and now, that other person did or said something, and it all makes perfect sense!’ Ugh. Boring! Well, if you happen to be one of those rather…
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The Green Mile (1999)
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Read more: The Green Mile (1999)Since I’m the one who is indeed fresh out of the big house, why shouldn’t I be the one to write a review about that other great prison movie? One that came out of the pen and twisted mind of my dear and revered Mr. King? I’ll admit that 21st century Dutch prison and that…
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Falling Down: Spending 7 Months in Prison Edition
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Read more: Falling Down: Spending 7 Months in Prison EditionEditor’s Note: Here is an email that I got from one of our writers. I was pretty sure he was dead, since I hadn’t heard from him in 7 months. Anyway, enjoy, and welcome back, Paul.
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Assassin’s Creed (2016)
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Read more: Assassin’s Creed (2016)Time travel really messes with… Wait. Didn’t I do this all ready? I probably did. But because we are, all of us, inside The Singularity right now, that really doesn’t matter anymore, because out here, things like ‘didn’t’ and ‘here’ are just these outdated concepts from some ancient, brutal, ape-like species, living on some tiny…
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Looper (2012)
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Read more: Looper (2012)Time travel really messes with your mind, doesn’t it? I mean, The Grandfather-paradox, Back to the Future, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure: it just fucks with your idea of time. Like: what is it? Is it a steady stream, from the roiling past through this very present moment right here and now into the bright…
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Space Jam (1996)
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Read more: Space Jam (1996)“Go then, there are other worlds than these…” -Stephen King, The Dark Tower “Two worlds colliding, and they could never tear us apart…” -INXS There once was a world in which a young man decided to go and see the 1996 movie Space Jam, in a movie theater, while under the influence of LSD. This…
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Bullet Train (2022)
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Read more: Bullet Train (2022)Snakes on a train. Didn’t they do this, already? Oh, no, wait, that was on a plain. Snakes ON A PLAIN. This one is on a train. Yes, okay. Well, Brad Pitt is in it. That’s good, isn’t it? If you like him. You know, as an actor. I must admit that I don’t know…
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Road Trains: A Meaningless Rant About Truckles
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Read more: Road Trains: A Meaningless Rant About TrucklesThe Instant Death & Disaster Show! Just imagine, if you will, the great Australian outback: mile after endless mile of absolutely nothing but dry red sands, and the occasional kangaroo. It’s hot. And empty. And vast. Through it cuts one, immeasurable ribbon of tarmac, leading from point A to nowhere, forever and ever. On it,…
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The Zero Theorem
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Read more: The Zero Theorem‘You’re quite insane, Mr. Leth…’ They say that to really understand someone, you need to see inside their house. If the same thing goes for movies and minds, I think I like Terry Gilliam. He was once a member of the legendary Flying Circus of Monty Python, and since then wrote, among other things, the…