Author: The Crazy Dutchman
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Malena (2000)
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Read more: Malena (2000)What constitutes a goddess? Or a good movie? Two questions that have plagued humanity since the very beginning of their respective existence. The answer is simple: you do
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Being Henry: I Love Henry Rollins
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Read more: Being Henry: I Love Henry RollinsAnyway. The first time I fell in love with Henry Rollins was way back in the nineties. He appeared in these short spoken word videos on MTV. You see, kids, back in prehistory, MTV broadcast music videos.
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Transformers: Age of Extinction -or- Descent into Movie-Hell
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Read more: Transformers: Age of Extinction -or- Descent into Movie-HellTo the crew of this movie: you will, at the very least, receive a strongly worded letter, which will explain to you, in the very clearest of language, why you must never, ever, EVER work on something THIS horrible again.
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The Bostrom Glitch: Four Movies That Question Reality
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Read more: The Bostrom Glitch: Four Movies That Question RealityIt sometimes happens that I wake up very early in the morning. I then get up, make coffee and sit on my couch, watching how the world outside slowly wakes up…I start to wonder if this world is actually real.
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Black Widow: The Crazy Dutchman’s vision
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Read more: Black Widow: The Crazy Dutchman’s visionNatasha Romanov is a tough little bitch. As played by the gorgeous Scarlet Johansson, she survives all sorts of beatings, stabbings, explosions, being kicked off bridges into freezing cold rivers and, of course, driving a Lada. My uncle had a Lada when I was a kid. They are these horrible Russian-built people cars that look…
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Falling Down: Spending 7 Months in Prison Edition
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Read more: Falling Down: Spending 7 Months in Prison EditionEditor’s Note: Here is an email that I got from one of our writers. I was pretty sure he was dead, since I hadn’t heard from him in 7 months. Anyway, enjoy, and welcome back, Paul.
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Top Gun: Maverick -or- Hello Aeroplane
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Read more: Top Gun: Maverick -or- Hello AeroplaneHello, Aeroplane “Where am I?” “Earth.” Like Tom Cruise doesn’t know that. He just fell out of the sky, after pushing a trillion-dollar concept plane beyond its limits. That limit being Mach 10. After treating us to near-as-makes-no-difference exactly the same opening sequence as the legendary 1986 classic.
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Reacher: A Dutch Perspective
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Read more: Reacher: A Dutch PerspectiveNow, I must confess I don’t know much about American military honors, but I did watch enough American-made movies and TV shows to know that when someone is listing that long a list of achievements, you KNOW you are dealing with someone special.
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Akira (1988): An XTC perspective
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Read more: Akira (1988): An XTC perspectiveThe first time I saw this 1988 Japanese manga-movie, I was very much under the influence of XTC. Or Molly, as I believe you weird American people also like to call it. You know, that stuff that makes your brain get flooded with massive amounts of things like serotonin, dopamine and other nice things. Just…
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Fantastic Planet (1973)
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Read more: Fantastic Planet (1973)“In the third millennium before Kraup, the Great Zarek created the first pyramic civilization. Legend says that from his tomb he still animates the ball of life, that his body, though constantly pierced by projectiles, does not change, and that his mind has regularly traversed the skies of Ygam ever since the Draags, under his…