Tagline: Welcome to the Future. The Year is 2007. Entire Story in Fewer Words than are in this Sentence: Michael Biehn gives voice acting a go. Homoeroticism: Despite being a love letter to 80s action films, Blood Dragon has very little in this category. Our lead, Rex “Power” Colt, makes constant references to balls, but, […]
A District Attorney is stalked by his worst nightmare
Tagline: “He’s a cop accused of murder. And the only man who knows he’s innocent is the killer who framed him. This is one case that’s going to be settled out of court.” Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Homicidal maniac obsesses over hot black sex cop. Homoeroticism: It is perhaps […]
Film TitleMidnight Run (1988)
Everyone is after this guy, including Bounty Hunters, The Mafia, and the F.B.I.
Robert D Niro
Tagline: This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Bounty hunter and his quarry trade wisecracks. Homoeroticism: Hardly anything to report, sadly. Bounty hunter Jack Walsh (Robert De Niro) and accountant Jonathan “the Duke” Mardukas (Charles Grodin), who is in his custody, quickly develop […]
Film Title48 Hours (1982)
A renegade cop teams up with a convict to track down two cop killers and another sleaze-ball
David Patrick Kelley
Eddie Murphy was only 19 years old when he was tagged to play the convict conscripted by Jack, a renegade and reckless cop in San Francisco. Jack always stayed just a half a step ahead of losing his badge, and Reggie wanted to get out of jail. Even though Reggie Hammond was not a cop, […]
Film TitleDeadly Prey (1987)
Sadistic mercenaries kidnap people off the streets and release them at their secret camp. Much death and hilarity ensues.
DirectorDavid A. Prior
Tagline: In Vietnam He Was The Best… HE STILL IS! Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Mike Danton ain’t nuthing ta f’ wit. Homoeroticism: Where to begin… I am probably the first person in history to ever take notes on this particular movie, and no fewer than four pages of those […]
Film TitleDollman (1991)
He’s only got 12 inches on Earth, but he knows how to use them.
Jackie Earl Haley
I’ve been meaning to review this movie forever. Dollman was released in 1991, but if any movie begs to be reviewed in the 80’s action format, it is the totally ruthless and bad-assed Tim Thomerson as Brick Bardo in Dollman. I have this movie on Amazon and even have a VHS tape copy of this […]
Film TitleThe Terminator (1984)
A terrifying cybernetic unit from the future will stop at nothing until all the Sarah Conners’ are dead
In 1982 James Cameron had a dream while lying in a sick-bed. His vision turned into what would become one of the most magnificent sci-fi action movies ever created. The Terminator (1984) is the movie that launched Arnold Schwarzenegger’s career as the greatest bad-ass ever to hit the screen. This masterpiece was as unique as […]
Film TitleThe Road Warrior (1981)
In a dystopian, post-apocalyptic world, they don’t need the girl, and nothing escapes.
The Road Warrior (1981). I have no explanation as to why this movie is not in the Ruthless Reviews Movie Archive. Jonny or Matt probably reviewed it and it just somehow didn’t make it over in the 2006 reboot of the site. No matter, a movie of this importance I must review, and of course […]
Film TitleMasters of the Universe (1987)
He-Man Dolph battles Skeletor for control of the universe.
Masters of the Universe (1987) is not really considered an 80’s Action movie except for the overwhelming presence of one Dolph Lundgren. This puts things over the top and into perspective. Like Arnold, Dolph is Adonis, a God, and must be treated as such. The movie sucked at the time, but there were several great […]
Big Trouble In Little China Released:1986 Tagline: They told Jack Burton to go to hell…and that’s exactly where he’s going! Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: They need girl(s), and the truck. Fuck Chinese Magic! Homoeroticism: None. Oh, boy, we need to talk. O.K., there was a weak attempt at redemption […]