History has not given Ivan Drago a fair shake. Not even close.

Dolph seeks revenge for his slain buddy proving once again that men, not women, inspire the greatest gun battles.

Tango, Cash, and man-ass.

When we first see Norris, he’s reduced to a moustache, but quickly grows back the beard that made him a cuddly, bear-like hunk.

When America needs a catharsis, gooks die.

A solid 15 die during the course of the film, and for once, we get a nice variety.

Christ Almighty, at least 20,000 men, women, and children are butchered in the span of a few hours.

“Nobody leans on Sharky’s Machine.”

Piper takes off his shirt, dampens his chest and the wife and kids are never mentioned again.

This film is practically Tiger Beat writ large.