Yojimbo

Film Title

Yojimbo

Synopsis

A Fistful of Yen before Clint Eastwood

Director

Akira Kurosawa

Cast

Toshiro Mifune
A bunch of other Nips that I am too lazy to spell

A tall dark stranger ambles into a rural japanese town…and proceeds to lop off forty arms, half a dozen legs, the occasional head and ALL ORGANIZED CRIME, in a matter of three days, thus is the seemingly straightforward but, in practice, delightfully tangled knot of betrayal and deceit in Akira Kurasawa’s masterpiece of samurai ass-whoopery […]

The Blob (1958)

Film Title

The Blob

Synopsis

A meteorite that survives Earth’s atmosphere reveals a nightmare of flesh-eating Jello.

Director

Irvin S. Yeaworth

Cast

Steve McQueen
Aneta Corsaut
Olin Howland
Stephen Case
George Karas
John Benson

When I was just a young punk, there was a lot less to do and think about than there is now, and in retrospect, that was a very good thing. My life consisted of mostly going to school, going to church every Sunday morning, evening, Wednesday afternoon and the dreaded Prayer Meeting on Wednesday night. […]

Minions: The Rise of Gru

Film Title

Minions: The Rise of Gru

Synopsis

Actual thoughts from my actual child



Cast

Steve Carell
Alan Arkin
Pierre Coffin
Julie Andrews
Michelle Yeoh
Jean-Claud Van Damme
Dolph Ludgren
Danny Trejo

Actual thoughts from my actual child. What number is this movie for minions? Uhhh…I don’t really remember. I don’t either. What’s this one called? It’s called…Minions: The Rise of Gru. Is Gru an adult or a kid in this one? He’s a kid. Is it like a Darth Vader, Anakin thing? [laughs] Uh, sure. Tell […]

Hereditary

Film Title

Hereditary

Synopsis

A grieving family is haunted by some very disturbing events

Director

Ari Aster

Cast

Toni Collette
Milly Shapiro
Gabriel Byrne
Christy Summerhayx
Alex Wolff
Jake Brown

Approaching Hereditary, one was confronted with one of two realizations, seldom avoiding both: the hype and applause hurled first-time director Ari Aster’s way and Toni Collette’s defining performance. The first time I saw it, I knew I could be making a mistake watching it alongside two philistine family members, and I wasn’t wrong. For them, […]

Bloody Sam says “Hi”.

Dying before he was sixty seemed like a fitting final action for the maverick film-maker Sam Peckinpah. Better to burn out than fade away and all that. For whenever Sam was in town the rage-filled stories of excess flew thick and fast, tales that included wild on-set bust-ups, legendary alcohol and coke consumption, budget blowouts, […]

Crimes Of The Future

Film Title

Crimes Of The Future

Synopsis

In the future, humans are trying to adapt to an ever-changing environment

Director

David Cronenberg

Cast

Viggo Mortensen
Lea Seydoux
Kristen Stewart
Don McKellar
Dierdre Brown

1 hour 45 minutes, Rated R for autopsies, surgeries, weird groping of internal organs Fair Value of Crimes of the Future: $8.00. It sounds strange to call this the most essential and the most inessential of David Cronenberg’s films, but here goes it is the best Cronenburg primer, the best introduction to ‘here are the […]

Lightyear

Film Title

Lightyear

Synopsis

While attempting to return home, Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear encounters an army of fuel-stealing robots

Director

Angus Maclane

Cast

Chris Evans
Keke Palmer
Taika Waititi
Peter Sohn
James Brolin

“Lightyear” – That’s why Andy wanted a Buzz Lightyear doll? As I usually do for animated flicks, I interviewed my now ten-year old son to talk about the movie. In hindsight, I definitely should have done this before he played in a three-day baseball tournament and forgot half the movie. Stick around at the end […]

Starring debuts #20: Lorraine Stanley in London to Brighton (2006)

Film Title

London to Brighton

Synopsis

“Nice isn’t it? To see a bit of color.”

Director

Paul Andrew Williams

Cast

Lorraine Stanley
Georgia Groome
Johnny Harris
Sam Spruell
Alexander Morton

“Nice isn’t it? To see a bit of color.” So says Kelly (Stanley) as she looks at the green fields through a train window on the way from London to the seaside. It’s a banal observation and yet so telling. There is no color in Kelly’s life. No joy, no hope, no normality. Every day […]

Delta-Endorsed Bonkery -or-the Southern Gothic Metric of Madness

Men behaving badly is the foundation of international drama. Since you need conflict, you need a motivation for bad behavior. I first learned to write in the smoky southern bars off the main college drag. I was haunted by cream-suited artistes sitting at the same booth, hunched over the same manuscript and nursing the same […]

My brain…? It’s my second favorite organ.

Woody Allen is a prolific artist who’s been making roughly a film a year since the late sixties. His timid yet talkative onscreen persona (simultaneously intellectual and stupid, riddled with self-doubt and wrapped up in his weedy, balding, bespectacled frame) surely places him among the most distinctive film stars of all time. It’s a double-edged […]