Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013)

Film Title

Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013)

Synopsis

The worst Krampus movie ever made

Director

Jason Hull

Cast

Jay Dobyns
Bill Oberst Jr.
Darin Foltz
Richard Goteri
Paul Ferm
Some Other People

Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013) O.K., that’s it. No more. This is the last horrible Christmas movie that I’m going to watch and review this year. Of course, I may change my mind tomorrow, but right now I’m as as firm as President Trump’s foreign policy. No more, I say. I really didn’t think I […]

Killer Christmas (2017)

Film Title

Killer Christmas (2017)

Synopsis

A bunch of bratty college kids get killed

Director

PeterPaul and Tony Shaker

Cast

Malcolm Xavier
Freya Lund
PeterPaul Shaker
Sherry Shaker
Kourtney Keller AS BELLA!
Tony Shaker
Natalie Pavelek

Why, why, why do I do this? You know, I used to really like my job. I review Christmas Movies, so what could possibly go wrong? I know and expect to get my share of the stinkers, but this year has been unusually hard. This movie gets an immediate and uncontested 10.0/10.0 for sheer annoyance […]

White Christmas (1954)

Film Title

White Christmas (1954)

Synopsis

Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby hope to bring Vermont a very White and very Gay Christmas

Director

Michael Curtiz

Cast

Bing Crosby
Danny Kaye
Dean Jagger
Rosemary Clooney
Vera-Ellen
Mary Wickes

Last year a friend sent me a copy of White Christmas as a joke Christmas present. I realized that I had never really watched this Christmas classic, or remember watching it, so I popped it in the ole DVD player last night. After the viewing, I had the feeling that not only was the movie […]

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (Netflix 2018)

Film Title

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (Netflix 2018)

Synopsis

A made for Netflix movie by the Coen Brothers

Director

Ethan Coen/Joel Coen

Cast

Tim Blake Nelson
Tom Waits
Willie Watson
Clancy Brown
David Krumholtz
James Franco
Liam Nelson

The Ballad Of Buster Scruggs (Netflix 2018) is a Netflix original anthology movie by the Coen Brothers. It has a 93% Fresh score on Rotten Tomatoes and a 78 at Metacritic. Your enjoyment of it most likely will hinge on how much you like the Coen Brothers movies as a sub-genre. The film used the […]

First Reformed

Film Title

First Reformed

Synopsis

A preacher is forced to come to terms with every major political and personal issue known to man.

Director

Paul Schrader

Cast

Ethan Hawke
Amanda Seyfried
Cedric the Entertainer

The Thanksgiving conversation of the ages. (Award season consideration has returned, so my mini-reviews are back as well. Enjoy as I rapid-fire them at you through the end of the year.) First Reformed is an ambitious film that attempts to take on multiple, major societal and political issues through the lens of a preacher. Abortion, […]

A Merry Little Christmas (2006)

Film Title

A Merry Little Christmas (2006)

Synopsis

This is a movie about Jerks.

Director

John Dowling Jr./ Carl Fink

Cast

Matt McCoy
Jane Sibbert
Adam Ferarra
Carol Alt
Hunter Gomez
Christa B. Allen
Kevin Brown

A Merry Little Christmas (2006), a.k.a The Town That Banned Christmas is without a doubt one of the dumbest, most unnecessary and incompetently made Christmas Movies I have ever watched. Don’t worry, A Meowy Christmas will always take its place as the worst Christmas Movie ever made, but this one is certainly in the top […]

Once Upon A Time At Christmas (2017)

Film Title

Once Upon A Time At Christmas (2017)

Synopsis

Mr. and Mrs. Claus go on a boring killing spree.

Director

Paul Tanter

Cast

Simon Phillips
Sayla de Goede
Jeff Ellenberger
Barry Kennedy
David E Lee
Laurel Brady
Brook Fletcher

Once Upon A Time At Christmas (2017) was a Christmas horror/slasher movie that featured a psycho and deranged Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus. They found much joy in clocking people with axes and crossbows. It was quickly obvious that the murders were themed on the Christmas song, The 12 Days of Christmas. The victims had […]

Mercy Christmas (2017)

Film Title

Mercy Christmas (2017)

Synopsis

Michael’s dream come true becomes a nightmare or- Choose your last name carefully

Director

Ryan Nelson

Cast

Cole Gleason
Ryan Boyd
Gwen Van Dam
David Rupprecht
Whitney Neilson
Steven Hubbell
D.J. Hale
Joseph Keane

I wasn’t expecting much when I fired up this Christmas Slasher cheese-fest. I had recently watched Scrooge In The Hood, and Mercy Christmas has an even lower User Rating from IMDB. Yes, the bar is low for Christmas horror movies. What I actually saw was a well-acted, hilarious, but bloody camp masterpiece. This Christmas film […]

The Christmas Chronicles (Netflix 2018)

Film Title

The Christmas Chronicles (Netflix 2018)

Synopsis

A family rediscovers its Christmas spirit after an unlikely enounter with one of the greatest Santa’s ever.

Director

Clay Katis

Cast

Kurt Russell
Judah Lewis
Darby Camp
Kimberly Williams-Paisley
Martin Roach
Lamorne Morris
Steven Van Zandt
Goldie Hawn

Christmas Must Be Saved! This is the timeless and hackneyed theme of most Christmas Movies, good and bad. From iconic classics like The Miracle on 34th Street, to horrible dreck like Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, Christmas MUST be saved! This time, we don’t have the bumbling Ernest or the magnificent Death saving Hogswatch […]

Scrooge In The Hood

Film Title

Scrooge In The Hood

Synopsis

The Jewish Mafia tries to move in on Scrooge’s ‘Ho business.

Director

Richard Chandler

Cast

George Raynor as Scrooge
Seregon O'Dassey as The Ghost of Christmas Past
Bill Jacques as Mr. Crotchrot
Alexander Hauck as Tiny Tim
Todd Therrien
Richard Chandler

The only thing wrong with this Christmas film, other than the acting, production, direction, sets, editing, cinematography and writing, was that it was an incredible 1hr. 23 minutes long. Scrooge In The Hood, a.k.a Silent Night, Dead Night is yet another obscure rendition of the Dickens classic Tagline: We Put The Dick In Charles Dickens […]