Month: December 2018
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NFL Week 17
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Read more: NFL Week 17Not going to spend my time writing an elegy for the career of Jon Jones, or rather, what Jon Jones could have been. Part of me wants to. Part of me remembers what Jon Jones was, who Jon Jones was, back when he was begging the referee to make him stop battering his opponent, a…
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Welcome to Marwen
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Read more: Welcome to MarwenWhy, thank you. There is such a thing as too much political correctness, but chances are high you have not actually experienced that situation. The general rule of thumb is if someone is complaining about political correctness, that person is really just whining that he or she can’t be an asshole to other people without…
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Prohibition Loses Again with Repeal of PASPA
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Read more: Prohibition Loses Again with Repeal of PASPASports betting fans in the US have a lot to be thankful for right now. For over two decades, they’ve been unconstitutionally robbed of a simple right that many hundreds of millions of people enjoy the world over. Thanks to the repeal of PASPA we’ll finally be able to enjoy the dual pleasures of watching…
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The ABCs OF CHRISTMAS
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Read more: The ABCs OF CHRISTMASThe ABC’s OF CHRISTMAS Alcohol– Face it, whether it be the vilest Kosher Wine, Grandmas 90 proof eggnog or just the familiar handle of Jack Daniels, you cannot get through this period without it. Besides, it’s the biggest holiday of the year, so you can get hammered with a minimum of repercussions. Raise a glass…to…
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NFL Week 16: Why Is This Man Not Laughing Edition
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Read more: NFL Week 16: Why Is This Man Not Laughing EditionI have a legitimate theory that sounds sort of crackpot-adjacent, but everything lines up upon close examination, and I am going to share it with you now: Miley Cyrus ended the U.S. occupation of Syria. No no no wait wait wait it’s a really good theory, for real. It all makes sense and checks…
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Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas Trailer Review
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Read more: Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas Trailer ReviewThe lunatics run this asylum, but at least it’s their own asylum.
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Bumblebee
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Read more: BumblebeeAre we sure this is a Transformers movie? As Bumblebee unfolded before our eyes, I had to keep asking myself if my son and I were really watching a Transformers movie. There were no racist versions of transformers. The movie was not exploding every twelve seconds. There were no robots or dogs trying to hump…
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Aquaman
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Read more: AquamanSpoon-feeding with a comically oversized ladle. I did not think Warner Brothers and DC Films could make a worse movie than Green Lantern, but Aquaman is that movie. The point at which Aquaman stepped on my last shred of hope was when the octopus played the drums. I am not making that up. You do…
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The Man Who Wasn’t There (2001)
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Read more: The Man Who Wasn’t There (2001)In her relatively small, but pivotal, role as Birdy Abundus (what a name!) in The Man Who Wasn’t There, she not only beguiled Billy Bob Thortons cuckolded, confused, and revengeful barber Ed Crane, but a much younger yours truly. It was a mature, impressive performance which hinted at the star she would become. It is…
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Widows
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Read more: WidowsI swear this movie could have been better. I could swear director Steve McQueen has a longer filmography. I could swear that he has done a whole slew of movies similar to Widows. If we are counting the more than twenty short films he has directed, we get to that slew, but I have definitely…