Category: Rants
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Top 10 Romantic Movies that won’t make you want to shoot up your local Ann Taylor
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Read more: Top 10 Romantic Movies that won’t make you want to shoot up your local Ann TaylorAll movies have a love story—I don’t say that in vain, in college I had two screenwriting professors (both working, agented and credited) who hammered the point home “Every movie has a love story—remember that, Mr. Cobb.” “I understand.” “Do you? Because I’m sixty pages into your college-student-with-a-shotgun script and I haven’t detected a note…
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id Cinema: The Genre We Love
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Read more: id Cinema: The Genre We LoveId Cinema: the genre we love without all the ‘narrative structure’ or ‘causal logic’ that just gets in the way of its fans feeling superior to everybody.’ Id Cinema is my term for that treatment of narrative that uses symbol and abstraction to get to the point, which is usually the interior revelation of a…
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The Phantom Menace: The 100 Things Wrong With it Edition
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Read more: The Phantom Menace: The 100 Things Wrong With it EditionMommy, Why are Jedis so gay?
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My Own Personal Jesus-The Eureka Springs Experience
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Read more: My Own Personal Jesus-The Eureka Springs ExperienceBy turns a direct link to a finely tuned spirituality and a transfer of theme park values to the most sacred of relations, it is…
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Death Without Dignity
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Read more: Death Without DignityMy profession is to witness and resist the inexorable pull of death. With an armamentarium of medications, I reverse death when it is possible, provide comfort when it is not, and occasionally facilitate its imposition of will on mortal flesh.
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Colonoscopy: It’s About the Prep
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Read more: Colonoscopy: It’s About the PrepIf you survive the prep, you will probably be just fine
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Falling Down: Spending 7 Months in Prison Edition
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Read more: Falling Down: Spending 7 Months in Prison EditionEditor’s Note: Here is an email that I got from one of our writers. I was pretty sure he was dead, since I hadn’t heard from him in 7 months. Anyway, enjoy, and welcome back, Paul.
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The Oscars: When Pigs Fly Edition
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Read more: The Oscars: When Pigs Fly EditionI must thank my Lickspittle-in-Chief Bob, Pooka 1st Class, Narcissistic Division, for his invaluable assistance in compiling this pile from the foothills of Bandini Mountain, Hollywood USA.
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Finding Bigfoot
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Read more: Finding BigfootAmerica is a country of masochists wanting nothing more than to be tied down, beat with fly swatters and be forced to choke down the hot, dripping load of whatever con artist we’re buying into at the moment.
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Soul Plane
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Read more: Soul PlaneMore damaging than repealing the 13th Amendment, and more harmful to the cause of civil rights than forcing the South return to lynching as official policy, this racist, sexist, homophobic hate-fest is even more infuriating because it coasts on its untouchable status. Attach a white director to a project of this kind and Jesse Jackson…