Month: September 2019
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Abominable
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Read more: AbominableA snowball’s chance. Abominable left so little impression on me that I forgot I saw it for three days. That is when my son asked me when we were going to do his interview for the movie. Once we starting talking about it, the film came back to me, but it was rough for the…
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NFL Week 4: The Idiot In Chief Strikes Again Edition
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Read more: NFL Week 4: The Idiot In Chief Strikes Again EditionUmm. Yay? I guess? Maybe? It seems our long national nightmare will continue unabated for the foreseeable future, but there appears to be a chance, perhaps slimmer than one would assume, that the pigheaded imbecile currently running this country might have to face some repercussions for his actions, seemingly for the first time in his…
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Rambo – Last Blood
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Read more: Rambo – Last BloodFair Value of Last Blood: -$5.50. As sequels to Home Alone go, it’s the best. As films from the Rambo franchise, it’s the worst. Tagline: The Legend Comes Home Entire Story in Two Sentences: Our nation’s problems with opiate addiction can be solved by a sufficient application of machetes, knives, and high explosives. Homo-Eroticism: None!…
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NFL Week 3: Boss T-Shirt Edition
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Read more: NFL Week 3: Boss T-Shirt EditionSo get a load of this. Nine days ago as I write this, a close friend of mine had an op ed published by the New York Times. And it’s not even your standard Ross Douthat Bret Stephens garbage, it’s actually really compelling. So how am I to rectify this with our friendship? I sure…
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Ad Astra
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Read more: Ad AstraLatin for “Dad is a dick.” Every year, I have the same three movie wishes. One, that there is one really good movie that comes out of nowhere. Two, that there is one good science fiction film. Not fluffy sci-fi like Star Wars (though I do want more Star Wars), but good sci-fi like Moon…
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Direct Contact
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Read more: Direct ContactNever you mind his fifty-two years. Dolph Lundgren will still fuck you the hell up.
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Fuck Brexit: A Rant From Scotland
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Read more: Fuck Brexit: A Rant From ScotlandIf the universe was a sawdust joint full of rednecks, with a jukebox filled with Toby Keith records and a door leading to a two stall bathroom, which contained a broken toilet (which people had kept on using anyway), then somewhere in amongst all that country, Good Old Boy, diarrhea shit would be the small…
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Bullets Over Broadway (1994)
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Read more: Bullets Over Broadway (1994)In the spirit of full disclosure I must confess I am a Woody Allen fan. I was a fan of his stand-up comedy, and was delighted when he moved into making motion pictures. His brand of humor was stamped on Take the Money and Run, and Bananas. Love and Death was a satire on bleak…
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NFL Week 2: It’s All About the Ace And Not The Trouble Edition
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Read more: NFL Week 2: It’s All About the Ace And Not The Trouble EditionFor many years, Antonio Brown’s sole claim to relevancy was limited to being one of the best wide receivers in the world. He grew up in Liberty City, Florida, much like the kids shown on the criminally underrated Friday Night Tykes, became a standout two-sport athlete, and did three years at Central Michigan University, perhaps…
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It: Chapter Two
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Read more: It: Chapter TwoFair Value of It Chapter Two: $.50. I wouldn’t turn it off if it was an airplane movie. Is It Scary? Aw fuck no. I’ll put it this way: I was never scared by haunted houses because I know that people are going to try to scare me. On the other hand, deep woods and…