Category: The ABCs
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The ABC’s of BBQ-Smoking the Meat Edition
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Read more: The ABC’s of BBQ-Smoking the Meat EditionSalvations 1:1 Verily,verily I say unto thee, an open flame shall not touch thy cooking flesh or thine days will be numbered before you are cast into the lake of ire. Goatesians 1:2-4 The only way to the BBQ is with the meat. It is blasphemous and very naughty in my wholly site for thou…
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The ABC’s of Hard Drugs
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Read more: The ABC’s of Hard DrugsYou’ve stolen cars and held pistols to heads but now you’re groveling to an abusive counselor regarding a sleeve of Fig Newtons…
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The ABC’s of Drunkenness
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Read more: The ABC’s of DrunkennessA relationship counselor once hinted that drinking eight beers during Sunday football could be a problem, that’s less than a beer per hour, plus it was a lie; it was more like 18.
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The ABC’s of Christmas
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Read more: The ABC’s of ChristmasAlcohol– Face it, whether it be the vilest Kosher Wine, Grandmas 90 proof eggnog or just the familiar handle of Jack Daniels, you cannot get through this period without it. Besides, its the biggest holiday of the year, so you can get hammered with a minimum of repercussions. Raise a glass…to Baby Jesus. Bonus–The Christmas…
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The ABC’s Of Thanksgiving In America
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Read more: The ABC’s Of Thanksgiving In AmericaAmerica! Most Americans are shocked and enraged when they realize that the rest of the world does not celebrate their bloated holiday. Get over it. Black Friday Back in ancient times, the day after Thanksgiving was a quiet and friendly time. Most everyone was off work or out of school, so you slept in, you…
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The ABC’s Of The Old Testament Part II: It’s In The Verses Edition
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Read more: The ABC’s Of The Old Testament Part II: It’s In The Verses EditionThere is simply too much content in the Old Testament for one ABCs. Therefore, the honest and respectful analysis of the most violent and unhinged Testament of the Bible must continue. I will concentrate on other characters, artifacts and scripture, as well as some of the weirdest books of the Old Testament Ark Of The…
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The ABC’s Of Halloween
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Read more: The ABC’s Of HalloweenAlcohol– Like any other holiday that we Americans celebrate, Halloween is just another good excuse to get hammered. I mean, why should the kiddies have all the fun? The urchins wreck their pancreases with a sucrose overload, so why can’t you destroy your liver with ethanol? Quid Pro Quo, right? Black Cats– Halloween is rich…
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The ABC’s of Midgets
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Read more: The ABC’s of MidgetsInside the Lollipop Guild.
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The ABC’s Of Prostitution
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Read more: The ABC’s Of ProstitutionAdult Services: Whether using a phone book or website, it’s a dead end to look for any other term. Some phone books have removed the section altogether, preferring “Adult Entertainment” to legally cover stripping, basement/garage modeling, jumping out of cakes, and the like. “Services,” on the other hand, ensures the exchange of sex for money,…
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The ABC’s Of The Ku Klux Klan And Their Updated Motivations
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Read more: The ABC’s Of The Ku Klux Klan And Their Updated MotivationsThis world of ours has seen too much hate being spread, and it is heart-wrenching that instead of making love, we chose to make war (Jason Derulo is extremely displeased!). When we all thought that the Civil War was finally over and that America would smoothly transition towards the Reconstruction Period, out came one of…