There are 284 entries in Rants
FEATURED RANTS
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Waterworld: More like Waterloo (1995)
Read more: Waterworld: More like Waterloo (1995)Since I seem to be on this nostalgia trip, let me tell you how I loved to annoy the crap out of my older brother by belittling some cool new piece of tech he had bought. A shiny new TV, a new VCR
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Rambo and the Germans
Read more: Rambo and the GermansI don’t know if you know this, dear reader, but ze Germans have a longstanding tradition of dubbing every single foreign movie and TV show
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Stephen is The King of Kings: Or, How Loudness Mistook Itself for Luminosity
In category (ies) : RantsRead more: Stephen is The King of Kings: Or, How Loudness Mistook Itself for LuminosityDear Mr. Cobb: You are a very strange man, and quite possibly insane as well. Therefore, I like you. Sadly, you are also very wrong. And because me being right and you being wrong is somehow important in this strange little world we inhabit, please, allow me, then, to retort.
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It’s Halloween, I hate Stephen King: Here’s Why
In category (ies) : RantsRead more: It’s Halloween, I hate Stephen King: Here’s WhyWho gave him the unmitigated GALL! to pontificate on the goodness or badness of a writer. Is it his success? The trapped-in-an-airport money he made? Fine.
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Top 10 Halloween Candies That Are More Trick Than Treat
Read more: Top 10 Halloween Candies That Are More Trick Than TreatCandy Corn-Why?–That not a cruel thing to ask, I mean, step back. Candy. Corn. Fucking why? They don’t taste like corn. And they don’t look like corn kernels, except the thin yellow layer at the top
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Reflections on Halloween and other essential holidays
Read more: Reflections on Halloween and other essential holidaysIt isn’t important to celebrate Halloween, that’s what’s so good about it. Have you ever tried to blow off Thanksgiving? It’s like spitting on your mother.
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The Great Pumpkin and the Tragic Piety of Linus
Read more: The Great Pumpkin and the Tragic Piety of LinusI was asked what I like to watch for Halloween, what scares me and what do I watch to be scared, and I had to think about it because I usually don’t watch anything for Halloween.
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Macho Idiots
Read more: Macho IdiotsThere’s a terrific scene in The Terminator when Arnie strides into a nightclub looking for Sarah Connor. A bouncer tries to stop him by slapping a hand on his shoulder, but our futuristic hit man doesn’t even bother looking around. Instead, he grabs the offending limb and gives the fool a taste of his cybernetic…
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The Best Film Ever Made About…
Read more: The Best Film Ever Made About…Everything a married couple experiences during the average evening: lies, recriminations, pettiness, alcohol abuse, adultery, and…
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Jaws 3-D Got It Right: Some Thoughts on Sequels
Read more: Jaws 3-D Got It Right: Some Thoughts on SequelsEarlier this year, I had the privilege of enjoying the latest installment in the possibly immortal (though it’s hard to imagine it without Tony Todd) Final Destination franchise, and enjoy it I did.
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The Ruthless Guide to 80s Action Movies: Volume 1
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TOP 10
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The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Americana
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Falling Down: Spending 7 Months in Prison Edition
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The Top 10 Most Outrageous YouTube Eating Channels
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Five Facts About Tornadoes You Didn’t Know
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Meth Stories: “Yeah Chris, I’m Not Going To Make It In Today.”
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Being Henry: I Love Henry Rollins
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The Bostrom Glitch: Four Movies That Question Reality
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Sawing Pigs Apart
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Top Gun: Maverick -or- Hello Aeroplane
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The Wonderful Climate of Memphis, TN.
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Top 10 Eighties Bullies
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Reacher: A Dutch Perspective
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Top 10 Movie/TV Quotes Worth Living By
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Breaking Bad
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The Poseidon Adventure (Seven Things I Love About…)
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College Basketball Conference Tournaments: A Rant
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The 15 Minute Rule: Abandon Ship on the Following Movies
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Doctor on Faith Healing Hoax and Religiously Impaired Parents
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Confession Of A Cat Murderer
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L. Ron Mexico’s Guide To Car Sleeping
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Save The Midgets
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Devilish Dwarves
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Akira (1988): An XTC perspective
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Murder, Torture & Religion
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Annoying Fuckers
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Regrets
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Pizza Sucks
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Things That Go Bump on The Shaft
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The 20 Most Ruthless Movie Performances of All Time
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Eight Wince-Inducing Moments in Movies*