Repeat steps 1 – 5 until you wake up in a hospital somewhere, weak, disoriented, thin and gorgeous. It’s that easy!

1789: George Washington becomes the first American president of African descent

I am speaking of the distinct, undeniably creeping stench of trash – po’ white trash above all…

Paul’s libertarians have promised themselves a wonderland where people are untaxed, welfare is minimal and the King of England stays out of your face.

Who could fight a war on Christmas when Christmas is so fucking cute? You, that’s who

Like many people on the left, or even the center left, I will wet my pants with impotent rage if Hillary Clinton gets the Democratic nomination for president.
the Democratic nomination for president.

when not insisting on being oppressed, she’s plotting her self slaughter with the subtlety of a performance artist seeking a grant.

When Alex Rodriguez signed his $252-million contract with Texas morons across America claimed that it would be the end of baseball.

Coney Island would make a perfect home for the cock. The place is a snapshot of a ghost world slowly being dismantled and left on the trash heap of American culture.

The idea of a coyote and a vulture pulling on opposite ends of Fossett’s intestines is genuinely funny to me.