The 1974 Gatsby vs. the 2013: Would you rather wince or yawn? Those are your options. One film is engaging but with painful exposition; the other is well acted but as dull as your grandmother’s house.
We hazed our newest film cricket by making him see the new Gatsby. He describes it as a useful tool for seducing fourteen year old girls, Welcome aboard!
That’s right, these are the College Boyz and they came to say / they rap hot rhymes like every day. The best thing about this album cover is not the flat tops, the denim shirts, or the guy wearing a high school track and field medal, it’s…
Here, our turds have become one. On a unified, peaceful accord. Insulated selfhood gives way into innate, homogenized harmony. If there was a stubborn turd who refused to evolve…
A free education is not an opportunity of which you take advantage. Rather, it’s an entitlement that should be bestowed upon you, with no effort on your part, even if you actively resist it. The truth is that teachers…
Impaled, eviscerated, immolated, defenestrated, dismembered, decapitated, fustigated, detonated … injected with sperm. We’re like Gilbert and Sullivan over here.
Five top American fighters to face off against five of Korea’s finest Tae Kwon Doe masters in a full-contact tournament. Why? To prove that with a little grit and determination, America can rectify the catastrophe of the Korean War by beating the filthy little slopes…
This one is just a mess of mixed and/or stupid messages. Seagal is a combatant in the war on drugs, which means that drugs have to be ridiculously vilified. We take a brief and amusing trip into Nancy Reagan’s deluded nightmares…
Let’s face it, folks — Rocky and Apollo want to fuck. They always have. Here, in the third installment, they come as close as they ever would to breaking…
First of all, Sly Stallone spends the entire movie wearing the sort of sunglasses worn by Rob Halford in at least a half dozen Judas Priest videos. Add to that a group of terrorists who gather in a swimming pool…
More than you could possibly imagine. I mean all the crap about Arnold being Der Gropin’fuhrer was just a rightwing-ruse to distract Californians from the fact that Schwarzenegger has starred in the single gayest movie ever made.
The Ruthless Guide to 80s Action
TOP 10 MOST RIDICULOUS BLACK METAL PICS OF ALL TIME
PLANET FITNESS: NO JUDGMENT DAY
THE OTHER TOP 10 MOST RIDICULOUS BLACK METAL PICS OF ALL TIME
Index
