BIG MONEY RUSTLAS
Writing a review of an ICP movie, which is obviously a representation of the world of Juggalos, is like writing a review of somebody’s asshole. Say, the asshole of a co-worker. In both cases, I’m aware that the subject exists, but I rarely think about it on my own and it is rarely drawn to my attention. I live in LA and we don’t really have Juggalos here. In terms of the asshole analogy, I live in a pants-wearing society, while the Mid-West is a nudist colony in which everyone has daily newspaper delivery. And this ...
THE EXPENDABLES
Tagline: Chose your weapon Entire story in fewer words than are in this sentence: Predator, without a predator. Homoeroticism: I’m not saying it isn’t there. There’s something at least non-heterosexual about declaring your shotgun to be your girlfriend. The problem is that the bar was set so high in the 80s with “take me in, pig” and “we don’t need the girl,” that simple stuff like gun fetishism and drenched musclemen locked in MMA holds barely even registers. We do have two straight love stories without any physical contact between men and women. Each woman serves primarily as an excuse to slaughter other men. Seagal ...
INCEPTION
When the dream is within a dream, it raises the question of where it all ends and reality begins. In our lives, the only reality is the moment about to pass, and all else is constructed of memory. That memory is faulty, riddled with inconsistencies and gaping holes that are altered and shaded according to our wishes and neurological imperfections. Christopher Nolan explored this notion in Memento, in which a man with retrograde amnesia represented an extreme of what everyone experiences as a memory that will simply fabricate that which it cannot remember to iron over gaps in one's retention. ...
20 BEST FILMS OF THE DECADE: PART 2
Pukahontus: Werckmeister Harmonies The mandatory choice of the artsy fartsies deserves it. Bella Tarr's films often contain scenes that seem to be drawn directly from Al Bundy's conception of critically acclaimed foreign films, and I think they can be fairly ridiculed in such instances. It's healthy to check yourself when your head starts to nod at really, really, long black and white takes of people from a backwater country not doing much or worse, speaking profoundly. But Tarr is still awesome. To start with, he is almost offhandedly, absurdly clever in this film. The climax features ...
UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: REGENERATION
Tagline: Reanimated. Rearmed. The Ultimate Rematch. Entire Story in Fewer Words than Are in this Sentence: Dolph and Jean-Claude convalesce, reunite with clothes on Homoeroticsim: Universally absent. With Andrei Arlovski on board I thought for sure we would witness a sweaty kimura or shirtless takedown at the very least but no, nothing substantial to report. Dolph and Van Damme exchange an uncomfortable moment before they man-wrangle that should be understood within the context of how poorly the Belgian has aged compared to his Swedish contemporary. In JC's defense, he can still lob a pretty vicious pacemaker, er, haymaker when provoked. The pre-fight silence is awkward ...
BIG MONEY RUSTLAS
Writing a review of an ICP movie, which is obviously a representation of the world of Juggalos, is like writing a review of sombody’s asshole. Say, the asshole of a co-worker…
HACKWATCH: JASON COLE SERIOUSLY ASKS IF TERRELL OWENS DESERVES TO BE IN THE HALL OF FAME
Even though everybody agrees that TO is an asshole, who cares?
