The Misunderstood: The Customer In Clerks Who Wants Ice For His Coffee

The Misunderstood: The Customer In Clerks Who Wants Ice For His Coffee Look, man, a lot of places sell coffee that is way too hot to drink. I do not know why they do it. Maybe so people can take it to work and it will still be hot when they get there. People who […]

A Tour of Hell: A Review

A Tour of Hell: A Review. When I awoke I found myself lying on the barren ground, confused and disoriented. The last thing I remembered was the heart monitor screaming that my heart had stopped in that hospital bed and yet here I was, lying on the rocks in the hot sun, naked as a […]

Alien: Covenant

A great use of a mulligan. After the visually pleasing, but narrative mess that was 2012’s Prometheus, and the continued misses in the video game arena, the Alien franchise has been on life support for years. To be fair, Prometheus turned something of a profit and the critical reception was favorable, but the majority of […]

Big Trouble In Little China (1986)

Big Trouble In Little China Released:1986 Tagline: They told Jack Burton to go to hell…and that’s exactly where he’s going! Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: They need girl(s), and the truck. Fuck Chinese Magic! Homoeroticism: None. Oh, boy, we need to talk. O.K., there was a weak attempt at redemption […]

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword. Once upon a time a director set out to tell his version of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. That director had a grand vision of using his unique frantic style of cinematography and a pile of 3-D effects to bring King Arthur, dirt, and a […]

Alien: Covenant

Alien: Covenant. New movies in the Alien franchise are anticipated with the same level of excitement and nervousness as the Terminator movies: Both have an unassailable 80’s pedigree and are subject to an unforgiving gauntlet of public scrutiny upon every subsequent release. With Terminator, the studio’s response appears to be to re-hash precisely the same […]

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Well, it had to end sometime. Marvel was on amazing streak of great movie after great movie, but nothing goes on forever. Kind of like United States’ good standing in the world, but that’s a discussion for another time. Back in 2014, we all wondered how a movie featuring […]

Free Fire

Never has a film made in 2017 begged more to be reviewed in the 80s Action format, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. There were more bullets flying in this movie than there were sexual innuendos. Nothing else mattered, the quotes and one-liners in Free Fire put it into the rarefied air […]

Man on Fire (2004)

There is a strong body of evidence in Man on Fire (2004) to suggest that the Tripods in War of the Worlds began losing interest in galactic conquest as a result of Dakota Fanning’s perpetual screaming. It was a painful example of lax parenting and a dysfunctional familial structure having an adverse effect on those […]

The Lost City of Z

As you might already know, I’m a huge fan of history. Whenever there is a movie about a historical event, I’m in. I did not know that The Lost City of Z was non-fiction, having not read the book, nor did I do any research prior to the screening. All I knew about it was […]