• The Lakers are going to suck for a long time
  • Cube (1997)
  • John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum
  • Pokemon: Detective Pikachu
  • UglyDolls
The Lakers are going to suck for a long time Cube (1997) John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum Pokemon: Detective Pikachu UglyDolls

The Lakers are going to suck for a long time

Hurray! The Lakers Suck and Will for the Foreseeable Future “I see your hair is burning. Hills are filled with fire.” LA is a dumpster fire right now, and I can’t decide what will act as more of continued accelerant that keeps the flames riding high, the franchise owners and management, or LeBron James? As […]

Cube (1997)

Cube is a movie that you can characterize as unique with complete confidence. I watched it on a whim, after numbing my brain with the non-stop and very one-sided killing in John Wick 3. I needed a movie to un-lock my brain from all that violence, so I chose Cube. Bad choice, as I traded […]

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

Difficulty: Evil. Cheat mode: Enabled. I like how cocky the John Wick franchise has become. The first film’s title was simply John Wick. No fanfare. Just a dude’s name. John Wick grossed $88 million on a $20 million budget, coupled with an inexplicably high 85% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Brimming with confidence, Summit Entertainment […]

Pokemon: Detective Pikachu

Go or something-or-other. I know next to nothing about Pokemon. I know it is a card game where the cards feature different creatures, which I assume are called Pokemons. I am not going to Google this, but feel free to email Goat with your complaints about me being stupid. Anyway, players make decks of creatures […]

UglyDolls

Fugley. What movie did we see last night?Uglydolls. Why was it called UglyDolls?Cuz Fuglers are ugly. What is a Fugler?Funny. Ugly. Cute. And how do you know about fuglers?BECAUSE I’VE SEEN THEM!!! They’re basically stuffed animals. Do fugler toys talk like in the movie?Uh, no, but they can make friends. They’re not animatronics or anything, […]

Hellboy (2019)

Somebody crack a window. Did you know there was a remake of Hellboy coming out this year? Did you even know there was an original Hellboy released back in 2004 and a sequel released in 2008? Do you think I am making up a movie that is actually titled Hellboy on purpose? Those are all […]

The Curse of La Llorona

Do you know where your children are? As parents, we tell our kids all kinds of lies to get them to behave. Right now, you are thinking of Santa Claus. Jolly old St. Nick is mostly a harmless lie, unless you subscribe to evil versions of Santa like Krampus or Tim Allen. Be good and […]

Pet Sematary (2019)

Pet Sematary is one of Stephen King’s most popular horror novels that has been adapted for the movie screen 3 times now. The original 1989 Pet Sematary was most famous for that insane grey cat, the cute little kid getting smashed to smithereens by a semi, and for Fred Gwynne as Jud. It was a […]

The Highwaymen (2019) Netflix Streaming

Arthur Penn’s 1967 version of Bonnie and Clyde featured the gorgeous, but ruthless killers Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow. With Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway, you had one of the the hottest tandem of sexy couples since Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Bonnie and Clyde was a groundbreaking blockbuster because of its shocking violence […]

My Year in Reviews – 2018 Edition

Resistance is futile. Is it just me or does 2018 feel like it has lasted about a hundred years?  Between hurricanes, forest fires, racists, sexual harassers, gun massacres, and the systematic destruction of reason, decency, and ethical governing by the elephant party and the worst president this country has ever seen, I’m surprised aliens haven’t […]

Why has Nobody Made a Game of Thrones Open World RPG Yet?

With HBO’s epic medieval fantasy Game of Thrones now in its final season, dedicated fans are already getting worried about the withdrawals they’re going to be dealing with when it comes to an end. This certainly won’t be the last we see of Westeros, as there are numerous spin-offs reportedly in the pipeline. But, just […]

Shazam!

Tag. You’re it! If ever a movie was being given a massive pass for not being the next putrid entry in the DC Extended Universe (DCEU), Shazam! is it. Currently, it sits at 93% positive critics ratings on Rotten Tomatoes, which ties it for best in the franchise with Wonder Woman. In no universe, including […]