“The Little Mermaid (2023)” – The Voice. With the release of the live-action remake of The Little Mermaid, Disney will almost assuredly see its last billion-dollar box office remake of a beloved classic. Like The Lion King, Aladdin, and Beauty and the Beast before it, The Little Mermaid will benefit from my generation reminiscing about […]
How to Create a Film Fan in Five Easy Flicks
May 19, 2023 by
My cousin doesn’t understand my work, movies bore him, he says, but I don’t blame him, since in his mid-twenties and according to him has never seen a black and white movie all the way through his cinema appreciation is in the dumps. Double that the only movies he’s actually seen have been post 2000s, […]
ISA Investment Review – The Best Investment Platform for Everyone
May 18, 2023 by
Introduction Investing in the stock market can be a great way to grow your wealth over time. However, many people are intimidated by the stock market and don’t know where to start. That’s where ISA Investment comes in. ISA Investment is a broker that makes it easy for anyone to invest in the stock market, […]
The Insult of Cocaine Bear is Greater Than its Mere Crapitude
May 11, 2023 by
I.. Am. Dismayed. Dismayed and adrift. Dismayed, adrift, unseen and ignored. What brought me to this lowly state? Why, I’ll tell you. ON NO LESS THAN NINE OCCASIONS has Hollywood passed on my Kiplingesque treatment of nature by making Cocaine Bear…an insult I have not seen and will not see, but the pain, the sting, […]
Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 3
May 6, 2023 by
Audiences seem genuinely confused by the current slate of MCU offerings and what to expect going forward. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever were both quite good. But Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania was only okay, Ms. Marvel was a waste of time, She-Hulk: Attorney at Law did not […]
Sisu (2022)
April 28, 2023 by
“Sisu” – Silence is golden. Aatami (Jorma Tommila), the main character in Sisu, has two lines of dialogue in the film’s entire ninety-minute runtime. Both of them occur at the film’s end and neither of them define the word sisu. According to another character, Aino (Mimosa Willamo), sisu is a Finnish concept that cannot be […]
80’s Action Is No Laughing Matter: Part 2
April 20, 2023 by
Chuck Norris in Firewalker Loathed by the critics, Chuck’s first shot at comedy in 1986 was a box-office dud that helped finish off his benefactor Cannon Films. Good work, son. Plusses: I couldn’t really follow the premise, but we end up with two adventurers and a pretty bird trying to find buried treasure in Central […]
80’s Action Is No Laughing Matter: Part One
April 19, 2023 by
You’ve heard the sayings. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Variety is the spice of life. A change is as good as a rest. And so on. Well, for most actors it’s straightforward to enjoy a wide range of roles, but action stars do have a tendency to plough the same bullet-ridden furrow. […]
Quasi
April 19, 2023 by
Comedy troupe Broken Lizard has been trying to recapture the magic of their one legitimate hit – Super Troopers – for twenty-two years and five movies. Hoping the sixth time is a charm, they bring us Quasi. As in Quasimodo, the hunchback of Notre Dame. And they bring it to us via Hulu. That’s just […]
The Last Hurrah #4: Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein (1974)
April 16, 2023 by
“My grandfather’s work was doo-doo! I am not interested in death! The only thing that concerns me is the preservation of life!” Mel Brooks’ 2021 autobiography All About Me! is an irritating, surprisingly poor read. It’s lame, politically correct, bland and devoid of interesting anecdotes. I don’t think there’s one word of criticism aimed at […]
Renfield
April 14, 2023 by
“Renfield” – All bite and no bark. Six years ago, Universal Studios attempted to start a franchise called Dark Universe that was supposed to feature a bunch of classic horror characters. The first movie, The Mummy, did exactly what I predicted it would do. Namely, it crushed the franchise in its infancy. With the Dark […]
The Shining
April 13, 2023 by
A hotel, bathed in blood, wrapped in a puzzle and stuffed up the keister of an enigma, The Shining relays the less-than-straightforward tale of a psychic boy helplessly trapped in a quagmire of perverted demons and murdered guests all wanting a fresh bite of whomever took the job of winter caretaker. That would be Jack […]
Assassin’s Creed (2016)
May 2, 2023 by
Time travel really messes with… Wait. Didn’t I do this all ready? I probably did. But because we are, all of us, inside The Singularity right now, that really doesn’t matter anymore, because out here, things like ‘didn’t’ and ‘here’ are just these outdated concepts from some ancient, brutal, ape-like species, living on some tiny […]
